Collage by CreatingPoetry

CreatingPoetry


4 4
glad you fought through the writers block for this! can’t wait to read it!
second paragraph, I feel like there’s too much it’s and this, maybe less telling, more showing?
“was I the only one you ever showed this to?” love this line. feels like foreshadowing in a cool way.
I love how you incorporated the sign! lightens the mood and gives the house a unique and memorable feature!
“perhaps you even more of a mystery to the rest of the word” I LOVE THAT! really hits home for me
some minor tense issues in some places I think, easy fix
I’m so intrigued by the mysterious character, she sounds like such a cool character!
“but I felt like I missed the joke” love that.
aw I want her to come back!
the last paragraph is so good!
overall, I lLOVE these characters and so happy you decided to write about them! really felt the emotions that this main characters was feeling, you are so good. portraying emotions!
I think this story could use a bit more actions to it, I love a good mental discussion, but I think it could use some more action. I really loved reading this though, it’s really good! thank you for entering!